by Anthony Lugo
Below is the Prologue to Elias' Sins, a novel-in-progress. Stay tuned for new chapters in future issues of STRIPES!
You can’t really expect events to happen and turn your life up side down. It all happens in a tangled bit of a rope, that signifies how our fates are intertwined with each other. Each bit of fiber, is a single life. We’re all part of a big plan that stays so unclear. We hardly even find out what we were meant to do. We follow what we are told to do from the very beginning of our creation. Have manners. Eat this. Take your shots. Exercise. Go talk to other kids. Go play. Go to sleep. Go to school. Bring back great grades. Like a certain gender. Act a certain way. Take up this profession. It’s all endless. A front. An act given to us to make sure we don’t see the big picture. But I saw the big picture way before they had the chance to brainwash me. I’m not as naïve as the other pigeons of the park. I’m not as gullible as most people are, who can be manipulated to think someone or something is corrupting the world, thus leading us to rebel. No. Because at a young age, I learned that corruption had already taken over, and there was no turning back. I realized this when I lost my mother.
“Smile for me, mi amor.”
Nancy was her name. I can still hear her voice. It was airy, calm, gentle. It was almost as if she was constantly singing. Every time her beautiful voice aired, I swear, birds chimed in with a chorus. But that’s just me. If there is one thing I’ve learned being a full blooded Puerto Rican last born, brother to 6, and a mix between a Lynx and a Wolf, is that, that sweet voice could change for the worst if crossed. I loved my mom. I was her last born, and of course the most spoiled, adored and most protected. I never got why, but that was just how it was. That day, when she told me to smile, was your average everyday life. The common overweight Hispanic child is what I was. I was complaining about how I couldn’t get a meal at the last drive through restaurant. It was an amazing deal, so I could understand. Though, my mother had chose this day out of all days to put me on a diet. Then again, she was just looking out for me. I was severely overweight. Weighing 280 pounds at the age of 13. I suppose I could have afforded to lose a couple pounds. Either way, to cut it short, I was an unhappy puppy. I flattened my ears back and crossed my arms the whole drive. For some odd reason she found this humorous and laughed at me.
“ Come on guildo, lets see that perfect smile of yours!”
She reached down and pinched my cheek. I huffed and smiled, even though I really didn’t want to before swatting her hands away. Somehow she always made me smile. Which by the way was completely unfair! How did she expect me to stay upset if she proceeded to pull stunts like this. I remember huffing to myself and turning to look out the window to watch the buildings, all different shapes and sizes, colors and designs. New Jersey wasn’t that bad of a place. I lived in a quiet suburb, so it wasn’t that bad. I remember this where my mother first said something that would soon become my life’s motif. My motto. My inspiration, and much much more.
“Listen nene, you may be mad at me now, but as long as I see that beautiful little smile of yours, I know that you are happy. A genuine smile a day keeps the heart happy.”
I shrugged it off, but inside those words clung to me like glue. She smiled and drove silently the rest of the day. She was always so beautiful. Her pristine white fur, and long ears. The perfect curl of fur tufts at the tips of her ears. Aquamarine gems the shimmered in the sunlight that were her eyes. Her pink innocent nose. She was beautiful. I didn’t acknowledge what she had said however. I simply stared outside. I really did resemble both of my parents surprisingly, but my fur had become an odd shade out of the whole family’s. My Dad always found it weird, while my mom found it as a gift. Precious little cream colored bundle of joy, while everyone else was a brown, white or sometimes ever black with brown spots. On top of that I was the only one with green eyes. Everyone had brown or blue. Yes, I guess I was a bundle of weird preciousness. Despite all this, I can say I was a brat. My eyes wandered out the window, picturing my own feeding frenzy adventure. Chicken, beef, rice… everything good. That is all I could think about then sadly to say. That was until hearing my mother’s panicked scream yanked me out of my fantasy and afterwards, a loud explosion.
Everything was happening so fast. I recall my mother’s hand holding down my seatbelt to secure it. Was that just instinct? She was so scared. My eyes darted to the road ahead and boy was it a sight to see for a 13 year old. It was as if it was a scene right out of a movie or a game. People down from these almost sci-fi looking aircrafts in gliders that made them soar like birds. There were so many of them, they could have been birds for all I knew. That wasn’t the worst part. Missiles causing collateral damage came down, knocking down perfectly fine buildings right before our eyes. My mom had done her best to try and avoid other casualties on the road. It almost felt like she had done something like this before. Though we hit a big roadblock of overturned cars and had to stop. My mom sighed frustrated and she looked over at me. She seemed to be checking me over to see if I was okay.
“ Mom.. I’m okay, don’t worry”
She nodded to herself and smiled meekly. Though, I didn’t get to see it. The last thing I remember from that moment was catching a glimpse of an incoming truck heading straight for our flank. The horn was blaring and then, my mom threw herself over me. I heard a large crash, but it was all black.
“M-mom...?”
I remember croaking out and rubbing my head. The impact had knocked me unconscious that was for sure because I had woken up in a bed of shattered glass and a upside down ruined car. My eyes were already watery from the gashes and bruises I had sustained.. Which was all thanks to my mother, who was kicking at the car door to open it.
“Mommy, what are you doing?”
I remember the look in her eyes. They were so feral, almost as if she knew what she was doing. Concentrated. She wasn’t the same. She shushed me quickly and bashed the door open finally. She turned back onto her stomach and crawled to poke her head out, looking both ways first. She crawled back in and smiled at me. At first, I thought everything was going to be okay. I hoped it was. I wanted to go home really bad. I heard popping noises in the distance and screaming.
“ M-mommy, what is going on?”
She hushed me quickly and took something off from around her neck to put around mine. They were dog tags that read Nancy Flora. I stared at them and then back to her.
“Stay here Mi amor. Lay on your belly and put your hands over your ears. Mommy is going to go check on if the coast is clear.”
I still couldn’t get how she could manage to make me smile even at times like this. Her brow was gashed open, with blood leaking down it, and her lip was busted. She had a bunch of tiny scratches along her face and arms. Yet, her smile made me smile. She gave me a wink and crawled out of the door and stood up. It wasn’t until then did I realize that she was going to be a distraction.. A distraction to keep them from me. That’s why she gave me her dog tags. I remember seeing a few other pairs of boots tussle with her. It seemed like they were having a hard time. But how? My mom was short and… a mom. But it was evident what was going to happen, and all I could do is stare wide eyed, and tremble in a wreckage with my tail ticked and my ears covered. They forced her onto the ground. She looked scared. That was, until she looked at me. Her beautiful Aquamarines… Time stopped for the both of us and I will never forget what she did. She smiled and mouthed out ‘Smile.’ Just for her, I did, I also unconsciously removed my hands from my ears. Her eyes closed and she was still smiling when I heard someone speak in a thick French accent.
“American Witch.”
A gunshot was fired, and my whole world came crumbling down right before my eyes. Everything was silent. More silent than usual. The people that were there before were now long gone and all I could do was lay there with my hands clutching the dog tags. After almost maybe a half an hour, I decided to skittishly and ever so slowly creep out of the wreckage. Pieces of glass lodging into my flesh.. but it didn’t hurt. I was numb. My eyes were on one thing. My mom. I crawled out slowly, trembling with utmost confusion.
“Mama..?”
I remember crawling slowly towards the limp body on the ground across from me. I remember sitting right next to her, and just looking at her. Tears swelling in my eyes, but refused to fall. The sun settled on the lowest part of the sky, dashing it in a bunch of warm colors from orange to red, to that beautiful pastel blue. Wispy clouds dotted the skyline. I remember lifting a trembling hand to gently caress my mom’s cheek. She was so cold. I wanted to see her beautiful Aquamarines again. Those eyes that brought me comfort.
“ Mama…?”
I lifted up my other hand and shook her subtly. Trying to be as quiet as possible just in case those men came back. I wished she was just sleeping. I didn’t want to believe that she was gone. I didn’t want her to leave me. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to see me get through school. I wanted her to take me to go get the special at that drive through restaurant. I wanted her to be alive. I shook her more Violently, the tears running down my cheeks at this point as hiccups began to escape my small wolven maw. I wanted her to be alive. I wanted them to have taken me to. I sobbed into her neck, in croaks and squeaks. Pure despair. I shook with utter hatred, and grief. My body was confused and the only thing I could do was lay next to her and curl up against her side. A trembling ball of pudgy fluff. Whimpering. Alone.
This was the day where my eyes were opened. We are never really through with corruption as much as people say it’s all okay. It’s never okay. That day, I watched my world die in front of me, was the day I was determined to get back at the world. My mothers dog tags were issued by one place. The most corrupted of all. The place where I will find solace in getting back at. Elias Academy.
Below is the Prologue to Elias' Sins, a novel-in-progress. Stay tuned for new chapters in future issues of STRIPES!
You can’t really expect events to happen and turn your life up side down. It all happens in a tangled bit of a rope, that signifies how our fates are intertwined with each other. Each bit of fiber, is a single life. We’re all part of a big plan that stays so unclear. We hardly even find out what we were meant to do. We follow what we are told to do from the very beginning of our creation. Have manners. Eat this. Take your shots. Exercise. Go talk to other kids. Go play. Go to sleep. Go to school. Bring back great grades. Like a certain gender. Act a certain way. Take up this profession. It’s all endless. A front. An act given to us to make sure we don’t see the big picture. But I saw the big picture way before they had the chance to brainwash me. I’m not as naïve as the other pigeons of the park. I’m not as gullible as most people are, who can be manipulated to think someone or something is corrupting the world, thus leading us to rebel. No. Because at a young age, I learned that corruption had already taken over, and there was no turning back. I realized this when I lost my mother.
“Smile for me, mi amor.”
Nancy was her name. I can still hear her voice. It was airy, calm, gentle. It was almost as if she was constantly singing. Every time her beautiful voice aired, I swear, birds chimed in with a chorus. But that’s just me. If there is one thing I’ve learned being a full blooded Puerto Rican last born, brother to 6, and a mix between a Lynx and a Wolf, is that, that sweet voice could change for the worst if crossed. I loved my mom. I was her last born, and of course the most spoiled, adored and most protected. I never got why, but that was just how it was. That day, when she told me to smile, was your average everyday life. The common overweight Hispanic child is what I was. I was complaining about how I couldn’t get a meal at the last drive through restaurant. It was an amazing deal, so I could understand. Though, my mother had chose this day out of all days to put me on a diet. Then again, she was just looking out for me. I was severely overweight. Weighing 280 pounds at the age of 13. I suppose I could have afforded to lose a couple pounds. Either way, to cut it short, I was an unhappy puppy. I flattened my ears back and crossed my arms the whole drive. For some odd reason she found this humorous and laughed at me.
“ Come on guildo, lets see that perfect smile of yours!”
She reached down and pinched my cheek. I huffed and smiled, even though I really didn’t want to before swatting her hands away. Somehow she always made me smile. Which by the way was completely unfair! How did she expect me to stay upset if she proceeded to pull stunts like this. I remember huffing to myself and turning to look out the window to watch the buildings, all different shapes and sizes, colors and designs. New Jersey wasn’t that bad of a place. I lived in a quiet suburb, so it wasn’t that bad. I remember this where my mother first said something that would soon become my life’s motif. My motto. My inspiration, and much much more.
“Listen nene, you may be mad at me now, but as long as I see that beautiful little smile of yours, I know that you are happy. A genuine smile a day keeps the heart happy.”
I shrugged it off, but inside those words clung to me like glue. She smiled and drove silently the rest of the day. She was always so beautiful. Her pristine white fur, and long ears. The perfect curl of fur tufts at the tips of her ears. Aquamarine gems the shimmered in the sunlight that were her eyes. Her pink innocent nose. She was beautiful. I didn’t acknowledge what she had said however. I simply stared outside. I really did resemble both of my parents surprisingly, but my fur had become an odd shade out of the whole family’s. My Dad always found it weird, while my mom found it as a gift. Precious little cream colored bundle of joy, while everyone else was a brown, white or sometimes ever black with brown spots. On top of that I was the only one with green eyes. Everyone had brown or blue. Yes, I guess I was a bundle of weird preciousness. Despite all this, I can say I was a brat. My eyes wandered out the window, picturing my own feeding frenzy adventure. Chicken, beef, rice… everything good. That is all I could think about then sadly to say. That was until hearing my mother’s panicked scream yanked me out of my fantasy and afterwards, a loud explosion.
Everything was happening so fast. I recall my mother’s hand holding down my seatbelt to secure it. Was that just instinct? She was so scared. My eyes darted to the road ahead and boy was it a sight to see for a 13 year old. It was as if it was a scene right out of a movie or a game. People down from these almost sci-fi looking aircrafts in gliders that made them soar like birds. There were so many of them, they could have been birds for all I knew. That wasn’t the worst part. Missiles causing collateral damage came down, knocking down perfectly fine buildings right before our eyes. My mom had done her best to try and avoid other casualties on the road. It almost felt like she had done something like this before. Though we hit a big roadblock of overturned cars and had to stop. My mom sighed frustrated and she looked over at me. She seemed to be checking me over to see if I was okay.
“ Mom.. I’m okay, don’t worry”
She nodded to herself and smiled meekly. Though, I didn’t get to see it. The last thing I remember from that moment was catching a glimpse of an incoming truck heading straight for our flank. The horn was blaring and then, my mom threw herself over me. I heard a large crash, but it was all black.
“M-mom...?”
I remember croaking out and rubbing my head. The impact had knocked me unconscious that was for sure because I had woken up in a bed of shattered glass and a upside down ruined car. My eyes were already watery from the gashes and bruises I had sustained.. Which was all thanks to my mother, who was kicking at the car door to open it.
“Mommy, what are you doing?”
I remember the look in her eyes. They were so feral, almost as if she knew what she was doing. Concentrated. She wasn’t the same. She shushed me quickly and bashed the door open finally. She turned back onto her stomach and crawled to poke her head out, looking both ways first. She crawled back in and smiled at me. At first, I thought everything was going to be okay. I hoped it was. I wanted to go home really bad. I heard popping noises in the distance and screaming.
“ M-mommy, what is going on?”
She hushed me quickly and took something off from around her neck to put around mine. They were dog tags that read Nancy Flora. I stared at them and then back to her.
“Stay here Mi amor. Lay on your belly and put your hands over your ears. Mommy is going to go check on if the coast is clear.”
I still couldn’t get how she could manage to make me smile even at times like this. Her brow was gashed open, with blood leaking down it, and her lip was busted. She had a bunch of tiny scratches along her face and arms. Yet, her smile made me smile. She gave me a wink and crawled out of the door and stood up. It wasn’t until then did I realize that she was going to be a distraction.. A distraction to keep them from me. That’s why she gave me her dog tags. I remember seeing a few other pairs of boots tussle with her. It seemed like they were having a hard time. But how? My mom was short and… a mom. But it was evident what was going to happen, and all I could do is stare wide eyed, and tremble in a wreckage with my tail ticked and my ears covered. They forced her onto the ground. She looked scared. That was, until she looked at me. Her beautiful Aquamarines… Time stopped for the both of us and I will never forget what she did. She smiled and mouthed out ‘Smile.’ Just for her, I did, I also unconsciously removed my hands from my ears. Her eyes closed and she was still smiling when I heard someone speak in a thick French accent.
“American Witch.”
A gunshot was fired, and my whole world came crumbling down right before my eyes. Everything was silent. More silent than usual. The people that were there before were now long gone and all I could do was lay there with my hands clutching the dog tags. After almost maybe a half an hour, I decided to skittishly and ever so slowly creep out of the wreckage. Pieces of glass lodging into my flesh.. but it didn’t hurt. I was numb. My eyes were on one thing. My mom. I crawled out slowly, trembling with utmost confusion.
“Mama..?”
I remember crawling slowly towards the limp body on the ground across from me. I remember sitting right next to her, and just looking at her. Tears swelling in my eyes, but refused to fall. The sun settled on the lowest part of the sky, dashing it in a bunch of warm colors from orange to red, to that beautiful pastel blue. Wispy clouds dotted the skyline. I remember lifting a trembling hand to gently caress my mom’s cheek. She was so cold. I wanted to see her beautiful Aquamarines again. Those eyes that brought me comfort.
“ Mama…?”
I lifted up my other hand and shook her subtly. Trying to be as quiet as possible just in case those men came back. I wished she was just sleeping. I didn’t want to believe that she was gone. I didn’t want her to leave me. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to see me get through school. I wanted her to take me to go get the special at that drive through restaurant. I wanted her to be alive. I shook her more Violently, the tears running down my cheeks at this point as hiccups began to escape my small wolven maw. I wanted her to be alive. I wanted them to have taken me to. I sobbed into her neck, in croaks and squeaks. Pure despair. I shook with utter hatred, and grief. My body was confused and the only thing I could do was lay next to her and curl up against her side. A trembling ball of pudgy fluff. Whimpering. Alone.
This was the day where my eyes were opened. We are never really through with corruption as much as people say it’s all okay. It’s never okay. That day, I watched my world die in front of me, was the day I was determined to get back at the world. My mothers dog tags were issued by one place. The most corrupted of all. The place where I will find solace in getting back at. Elias Academy.